[link removed for my private reasons, it will however be in the private folder so that you may have access to it]
This link will show my progress from being so hurt by Christians that I trusted, that I wanted revenge however and where ever I could get it. Even if it meant to me to switch sides.
There were a couple of realizations I had to come to.
1. I was giving them too much power over my life, but physically and spiritually. I was allowing them to send me to hell with them. I was allowing the actions of others dictate my relationship with God.
2. The only ones I had hurt by holding on to my unforgiveness and bitterness was myself. They didn't care to begin with and they certainly didn't care that their actions tore me up insided in ways that I never thought possible. I had never felt pain like I did that day. I was only hurting myself and those who were closest to me as well as I turned away those people who really did care about me.
3. It affected relationship with both my son and my husband. Because I was so hurt and bitter from what these so called "christians" did to me, I closed myself off from being able to love or be loved in return. Even those Christians who did try and reach out to me were met with such distrust that I could have avoided so much more pain.
4. I wasn't able to control other's actions, but I am in control of mine.
5. When we go out and have our own revenge, it WILL come back and bite us in the butt!!
Whatever we sow we will reap. My one and only spell (which was for revenge) came back and got me as well. Things that I had done in the past came back and got me as well. Looking back on it today, it seems as if it was a warning.
1 Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted.
2 Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.
3 For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself.
4 But each one must examine his own work, and then he will have reason for boasting in regard to himself alone, and not in regard to another.
5 For each one will bear his own load.
6 The one who is taught the word is to share all good things with the one who teaches him.
7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.
8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.
9 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.
10 So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.
Treating others, Revenge
This is one of those posts that the HS gave me when I was asking Him WHY! Why didn't He ever take up my revenge?? Why didn't He help me?? Where was He??
We are not fighting against people, but rather those "christians" who are so weak that they allow themselves to be used by the devil to hurt those of us who are really working on a real relationship with Christ.
We are taught to love our enemy. I know that this is soo very hard. BUt it is possible!!
This last week the Amish Community put us all to shame. Their little girls were shot, killed, and some will probably have nightmares for a long time over what happened in their school. Some sick-o went into their school with the intent to molest these girls and then to kill them and himself.
Even after everything that I have been through, I just can not imagine how it would feel to be one of those mothers. I personally feel like death was too good for that sick-o. I would have perfered to be able to torcher that person who did this to these little girls. And I do not even know any of these girls or families!!
It was a profound statement of their faith for them to attend the funeral and forgive this person who did this to their children.
Amish attend the funeral of man
This is where we need to be. I myself am not there yet and don't know if I will ever get to the point where I would be able to forgive someone who did this, much less as quickly as they were able to do so.
17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.
21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.
I know that for me this is the hardest thing for me to do, but I am trying my best and I can see where I am improving. It takes time and practice and patience. It is also humbling and requires complete trust in God and His Word.
Jesus gave us the HS to be our comforter.
And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever;
But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.
But when the Comforter is come, whom I will send unto you from the Father, even the Spirit of truth, which proceedeth from the Father, he shall testify of me:
Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you.
If we pray, seek God, and open ouselves up to being taught by the HS we will receive comfort from the HS. I know, I have been there and I know how much it hurts to be betrayed by those who were supposed to be there for us and those we counted on. To tell out secrets to someone and then to have them use them to hurt and humiliate us, is the worst. I too have been guilty of doing this and I have asked for forgiveness of those who I have hurt, and have forgiven those who had hurt me, even when they are still showing and keeping the lies up for all to see.
I have comfort that God is true to His Word and He will take care of it for me and He will exact revenge against those who are still out there spreading the lies as well as my personal struggles.
In the mean time I still need to do good to them.
27 "But I say to you who hear, love R301 your enemies, do good to those who hate you,
28 bless those who curse you, pray R302 for those who mistreat you.
29 "Whoever R303 hits you on the cheek, offer him the other also; and whoever takes away your coat, do not withhold your shirt from him either
30 "Give to everyone who asks of you, and whoever takes away what is yours, do not demand it back.
31 "Treat others the same way you want them to treat you.
32 "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them.
33 "If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.
34 "If you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners in order to receive back the same amount.
35 "But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men.
36 "Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
And this the hardest one of all. But if you noticed, we will be GREATLY REWARDED for dong this.
14 "For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
15 "But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.
See, if we do not forgive those who hurt us, then God won't forgive us for the hurts we have caused others.
Nothing is impposible, even though these commands seem to be impossible when looking through the hurt and betrayal.
And He said to them, "Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, `Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you.
And looking at them Jesus said to them, "With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
Looking at them, Jesus said, "With people it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God."
"For nothing will be impossible with God."
But He said, "The things that are impossible with people are possible with God."
Pray and seek God. Ask Him to help you through this, He is faithful to do so. He has promised this.
Let these experiences that affect our weak areas, make us strong.
1 Cor 4:
10 We are fools for Christ's sake, but you are prudent in Christ; we are weak, but you are strong; you are distinguished, but we are without honor.
11 To this present hour we are both hungry and thirsty, and are poorly clothed, and are roughly treated, and are homeless;
12 and we toil, working with our own hands; when we are reviled, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure;
13 when we are slandered, we try to conciliate; we have become as the scum of the world, the dregs of all things, even until now.
8 For we can do nothing against the truth, but only for the truth.
9 For we rejoice when we ourselves are weak but you are strong; this we also pray for, that F116 you be made complete.
10 For this reason I am writing these things while absent, so that when present I need not use severity, in accordance with the authority which the Lord gave me for building up and not for tearing down.
I am praying for you and have opened up a private folder at TMS if you ever wish to talk. I won't allow anyone else to read it, unless you OK it, as well as give you complete privaleges over the folder to delete and edit if there is something you do not wish to have in print.
Let me help, PLease!! I have been there and I know how much this hurts. Either way, know that my heart and prayers are with you.