Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Forgiveness and Purpose

Forgivness and Purpose

Any one who knows me knows that I left __ with alot of hurt and humiliation. I was so bitter for so long.

Like J I went back to my former self. I felt that it was the last nail in my "christian" coffin(sp). I had been hurt by christians all of my life. Not just little hurts, but hurts that last a life time. I went out badmouthing __ and christianity in general.

Over the last few months, things have been starting to change for me. It was like lightbulbs flashing in my head. The first was "why should I let them send me to hell with them?" The only person thatwas getting hurt here was me.

OK they hurt me, OK they are pretend christians, why would I allow them to control my spirit and where I am?

SO I gave my heart back to God. Once the anger over christianity was gone, there was nothing left to fight against and it was just between me and my God.I know we have all heard the "forgive as God as forgiven us". I know that I have heard this my entire life, but it never clicked before last week. I know that I have sinned. I have cursed God, I have called on demons, I have lived in ways I know I should not.

Are their sins any worse than mine? To me it might seem so, because it is so personal, but in the large scheme of things, no they aren't. It just doesn't seem logical for me to sin because they are.

I have found myself to be as much of a hyprocrite as they are.While I have sat back and spent most of my time judging them and their actions, proving to myself that they arent' real christians, I have failed to act and behave as I know I should. I have not treated people with the same love and respect that I have judged others for not giving to me.

To any of those here that I have hurt with my attitude, I am sorry. Just know that I am human, but I will work on it here as I am doing IRL.

That being said, I think that a new forum where everybody is welcomed and shown the love of Christ, regardless of where their paths are, is what God would want.

Honestly, I have been involved with an Ex-christian site. This site is all about anti-christianity. I don't want to be anti anything. Then it would seem as if there is another purpose here as opposed to the purpose God would have us be.

The purpose of "showing the world the love of Christ",should be first and formost.

Sorry if I seem overly pushy on my views. I only wished to share what God is doing my in my life. These are HUGE lightbulb moments for me and they have changed my life.

With love,Deb
posted by Star @ 6:25 PM